MARIE ANTOINETTE

I know I said that I was gonna post the library movies & that I'm extra extra late but hey I've been busy! So here goes the Marie Antoinette one.

A brief history lesson: Marie Antoinette was an archduchess of Austria whom's marriage to Louis XIV of France was arranged to make "peace" between the two countries during the Seven Years War. Antoinette & Louis' marriage, whom were only 15 & 17 yrs. old at the time respectively, was a disaster. He was a strange & standoffish husband & they didn't consummate their marriage for 7 years! (didn't have intercourse.) They became king & queen after his father passed away. She is best known for being flamboyant, free, wild & rebellious & was executed by guillotine at the height of the French Revolution in 1793 for treason.

The movie? Very indifferent for me... There were great things & things that are, well, on the other side of the spectrum. Let's start with the good shall we? The colors were perfectly rich & the costume & set designs were one of the best I've seen in a movie. I mean, the buildings, furniture, food, shoes, dresses... everything. The food, oh my god! Plate after plate, day after day the food were just so beautiful you didn't wanna eat it. Every single one of her dresses were to die for; they were the most gorgeous things you'll ever lay eyes on. And the buildings & furnitures? *shakes head* I told Actor I want our house to look like that. lol. Ok not the whole house cuz then that would be weird but at least one room, ok two. French furniture is THE best. It's exquisite! Basically everything in that movies was insanely & abnormally gorgeous!

Now let's talk about the other side of the spectrum... hehehe... I mean, the soundtrack... *shakes head* the soundtrack... It was not cool man, wasn't cool at all. At one point they had "I Want Candy" playing. Yea... I mean, I get the whole concept of "she was wild & free beyond her time" so you had a modern/rockish soundtrack to something that happened in the 1700s but some things are better left as a concept if you know what I mean. There were some parts that were so quiet & captivating & then loud ass rock music comes in and 1) scares the crap out of you cuz it's so loud for no reason 2) gets annoying after about 5 seconds & you have to move from the comfortable fort that you've made with the futon & blanket to reach for the remote & turn the volume down.

I adjusted the volume about 8 times during the movie. Not a good look. Not a good look at all.

Now usually I won't tell you anything about the movie cuz I want you to see it for yourself, but hey, I just gotta get this off my chest! Stop reading if you wanna watch it.












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Ok, whew! Now where were we? Oh yea... The night scenes. Oh my GODDDDD. The 8 million night scenes. Remember how I told you that they didn't have intercourse for 7 years after they got married? Yea... The movie showed just that. Scenes after scenes after scenes after scenes after scenes, well you get the point, after scenes... of them in their PJs saying good night & him turning the other way on his side to go to sleep. And then some more of the same scenes! Goody!

And they showed one undetailed & impersonal scene of them actually sleeping together to conceive the baby. You know the one where it fades out & they don't actually get naked or anything. Not that I'd want to see them naked anyway, they're not that attractive...

The ending... Wow, the ending was just them running away from the mobs of people that were angry at them because they were hungry. See, she had wasted all of the country's money on parties, clothes & shoes, and he had sent the rest of the money to America to support them in the war. Ergo, the people had nothing to eat. Ergo, they wanted their heads. Ergo, they ran away...

I was disappointed because it didn't show her getting beheaded. I mean, when you watch a Marie Antoinette movie you expect her to get beheaded. That's just like expecting Angelina to hook up with her costars. DUHHHHH.

Since I'm already talking about the movie & to ease it up a little because it wasn't THAT bad there were some scenes with substance: 1) Some people hung up a painting of her & her three children & the next scene is them taking it down & putting the same painting but with only 2 children up. Ergo, she lost a baby... 2) The affair she had with the Swedish Count Fersen was hot. He's way cuter than short & stuffy Louis. hehe.

Overall, I'd give this movie a 2 1/2 out of 5 stars. A 5 out of 5 for set & costume design though. If I haven't persuaded you not to cuz that wasn't my intention, you can go watch it & judge for yourself. For me, it wasn't my cup of tea...

Love, Akanke

MARIE ANTOINETTE

Marie: So, I hear you like to make keys as a hobby?
Louis: Yes.
Marie: And do you enjoy making keys?
Louis: Obviously.