THE MEANING BEHIND IT ALL

Maybe I should explain what my blog means… One day I was browsing through names that I would one day like to name my child (not that I am having one anytime soon) and I came across “Skylar.” It means “Eternal life, strength, love, and beauty.” These are all of the things that I believe in. Life is the journey that I live and learn from. Strength is what I always somehow muster up to get through all of my ordeals. Love is what I’ll always believe in nomatter what happened in my past relationships. And beauty is timeless. Not physical beauty. But inner beauty. The beauty of the arts. The beauty of life, strength, and love… all of these things are timeless. They are everlasting. These are the things that no one can take away from you even if they sell their soul to the devil. This is my blog…

And as I found Skylar, I found Akanke also, which is what I will be calling myself from now on. It means "To know her is to love her.”

All of my life I have been misunderstood. Misunderstood by my parents, my friends, my family, boyfriends, coworkers… EVERYONE… Everyone seems to swear that they know me up and down, inside and out, round and about, and whatever else you can think of. But they don’t know. They seem to have this image of me; this set, frozen, carved in stone image, that if you compare them side by side, contrast each other like water and oil. It just doesn’t mix.

To some I am the stubborn, loose, foul mouthed, rebellious, disrespectful bitch. To some I am the crazy, silly, funny, spontaneous, party girl. To some I am the quiet, emotional, spiritual, think too much perfectionist. To some I am the know what she’s doing, has everything going for her, wish I was her, independent, headstrong leader.

Well guess what y’all?

I am all of these things and none of these things. I am who I am. I will not bind myself to labels. I will not limit my self-identity to what you think of me. To what you want to see of me. To what you want me to be. To what you wish I wouldn’t be… I am who I am. I am a child of God. I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a coworker, a lover. I am who I am…

To know me is to love me.